Saturday, May 10, 2008

RIP Shane

For anyone who for some reason strayed onto this blog this is the final post. Shane, the cat, who is pictured in the following posting, passed on last month.

Shane died at age 13 following an amazing life. For the first ten years Shane lived outdoors, and saw his family killed one by one by wild turkeys in Trumbull. He himself was slashed open on his neck, and he had a bb that someone shot stuck inside him.

We brought Shane inside our home when he was 10 years-old, and for three years he was the perfect pet. So peaceful and so happy to just be loved.

With Shane's passing that concludes the "meat blog."

But remember to always have a steak on us, and remember to throw away the green stuff. We don't need that stuff.


Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Remember to chew very slowly

Bloggers note: This is a cheap imitation of the master Tom Veilleux, who daily captures the lives of ordinary residents who have recently passed and brings their memories to life in the New Haven Register. Tom does it through grace and tact, while I have chosen another route.


McCready goes to that big Filet Mignon in the Sky

STRATFORD—For those who knew Brian McCready the best say he died doing the thing he loved most in life, chewing on a piece of meat.

The last seconds of McCready's all too short life were not pretty according to witnesses in the Register's Milford Bureau. He had just purchased a steak sub from The Chicken Basket, yes a steak sub, when he began to choke just like the Mets did at the end of the baseball season.

His colleagues, Jim Tinley, Vinnie Salzo, Tristram DeRoma, and Bridget Albert thought he was pulling another one of his pranks, and misread the choking for another form of a gag. Tragically, they were wrong, and that deliciously tender steak sub slathered in American cheese and served on a day old submarine sub did him in.

Even the subtle hints like his face turning different shades of purple, and the gurgling noises, combined with his hitting the floor did not set off alarm bells to his co-workers who were still busy polishing off a variety of chicken dinners as paramedics responded to his life-less body.

"It's sad that he's gone, but I know Brian would have wanted it to be this way," Salzo said, while adding McCready's favorite color was turquoise, and his favorite singers were Nick Lachey and Axl Rose. "I know he liked his meats, because he had a crappy blog about it, and he loved Milford, and never wanted to work in New Haven."

"In some ways you might say he won," Salzo added with a wink.

Friends and family say they had seen McCready make quick work of numerous steak subs sometimes two in a sitting, and they never had an inkling something so tragic was about to happen. McCready, 31, leaves behind a cat named Shane, 13, who apparently needs a new home. (See pcture above, or is that McCready?)

His hobbies beyond the meat thing consisted of watching "Dancing with the Stars,” "The Shield," the “Deal or No Deal” girls’, and anything with Gordon Ramsey and Kim Kardashian. The only movies he's seen in the past three years was “Transformers,” and “I am Legend,” with the latter being the best movie ever made.

"I'll miss Brian. Not because he was a nice guy or anything, but who is going to pick up the lunch anymore?" Albert said. "I don't want to put any miles on my new SUV."
Tinley toasted McCready by eating a Reuben in his honor. Then he quickly remarked "wow Phil's gone, and so is McCready. I've been here two months and I'm the new Bureau Chief. Not too shabby."

"I'm glad no one is here to make sure he wasn't poisoned," Tinley said with a giggle.

McCready’s favorite sports teams were anything coached by Isaiah Thomas.

“This is a great day for the city of Milford,” declared Milford Mayor James L. Richetelli Jr. “Oops I usually say that. I mean I guess I should say it’s a not so good day for the city of Milford. And boy do I feel like a good steak tonight. That’s for you Brian.”

In lieu of sending flowers or money please make a memorial donation to the Omaha Steak Company.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Straight Talk Express!!!!

The world needs more people like Robin, who are not afraid to speak the truth and stand up to those Veggie bullies that are out there. You know who you are.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Another Veggy Conspiracy

This article claims eating meat can cause lung cancer. Hello, isn't that meat they're talking about called cigarettes?

Sunday, December 9, 2007

My Fatal Attraction

Ms. Dee, is it really necessary to put pounds of pastrami on your Reuben? Right, stupid question.

We all do things we shouldn't do. Some people compulsively steal, lie or take drugs. Others, like myself find themselves in unhealthy relationships.
I have an unhealthy love affair with the Reuben. And the worse thing is, I know the Reuben not only doesn't like me, but actually hates me with a burning, artery clogging passion. (And sometimes a tingling sensation on the left side of my body). It lets me know the depth of its hate every time I even catch a whiff of cured meat. In fact most people start searching for baby aspirin and a defibrillator when they start experiencing what I do every time I chow down on the heaping mass of succulent hot pastrami, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut and Russian dressing stuck between two golden brown, butter soaked pieces of rye bread.

I'm full after about two bites and have the constant worry that my jaw may lock as I struggle to wrap my lips around the mountain of meat. Beads of perspiration begin to form about a minute after I start experiencing shortness of breath. When I'm just a few bites away from putting down the first half of the rube and the bread is all but disintegrated - fusing the sandwich into one greasy mass of goodness - the dizziness sets in. This is the moment that truly tests my meddle. Light headed, gasping for air and starring at the second half of the sandwich through blurred vision I know I have an uphill battle in front of me. Do I set the second half aside, set up base camp and go for the summit in the morning? Or do a forge ahead and finish the rube off right then then and there?
I'm not ashamed to admit that at times, I stand the sandwich up so the bread doesn't get too soggy on either side and it finds its way to my broiler at home before eventually making its way to my stomach. Other times, usually egged on like by my colleagues like I never left the junior high lunch room, I take a deep breath and go to work on the remnants of the rube. It reminds of me when my friends and I would create impossible challenges involving large quantities of food and a 30 second count down for Nate who couldn't turn town a challenge involving food.
I get a sense of the triumphant joy of accomplishing the impossible, the joy that Nate never felt but always went after, each time I finish a Dee's Reuben. It's a small victory in my day. That victory is short lived though as the dizziness gives way to fatigue. I end up feeling like a bear that has just spent months gorging in preparation for hibernation and all I want to do is find a warm dark place and sleep until winter ends. But Instead of sleep I jump start my heart with a near lethal dose of caffeine and head back to my computer.
So why do it? Like my friend Nate who could never beat the clock or Charlie Brown who always has the football snatched away at the last minute I go back the Reuben. I guess the most simple answer for this inexplicable and self destructive behavior (and coincidentally the reason why the bulk of Americans are obese) is simply because I can and it always seems like a good idea at the time. That, and damn Dee makes a good Reuben.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Long Live the King of Lunch

Have you ever met a happy vegetarian? No. How about happy steak eater? Hell yeah! Why are they happy? Because they're about to eat a frickin' steak, that's why. And unlike lettuce, they can have that steak a variety of ways. Whether it's a medium rare center-cut wrapped in bacon, smothered in caramelized onions and cheddar cheese or a plain old T-bone broiled in its own juices, meat eaters can't make a wrong choice when it comes to steak.

Except maybe at lunch time. Why? Because not many people have the luxury or time to have steak for lunch, causing a hit or miss situation where wrong choices are sometimes made.

That's why there's Burger King. You can't go wrong with their "Angus," a round ½ pound of ground sirloin goodness.

The Angus was actually one of Burger King's specials, destined to appear only briefly before disappearing, sadly, into the annals of fast food once-upon-a-time land. But not this bad boy, the Angus proved to be so popular they eventually had to make it a permanent part of the menu or face the wrath of angry carnivores everywhere.

And now, lo and behold, The King may have outdone itself once again, with the "Bacon Double Homestyle Melt."

Ye Gods! What a sammich! Like the Holy Grail or Jesus, it may be a bit hard to describe, but I will try.

What the King did was take two all-beef patties and put them in between two slices of primo sourdough bread. But he didn't stop there, no. He added caramelized onions, sharp American cheese bacon and mayonnaise. No lettuce, tomatoes or any of that boring stuff. But here's where things get interesting. Eating this Sandwich of the Gods is quite the experience. Just like gunpowder, the ingredients by themselves are harmless, but combine them in a small enough area (like your mouth) and you get something entirely different; a taste explosion, if you will. Something about how the grease from the beef and the buttered bread combines with the fat in the mayo and the tanginess of the onions just sets off a chain reaction of juicy goodness that goes straight to your brain. Yes, The King has definitely hit upon something here.

Though slightly smaller than a Whopper, the taste explosion definitely makes up for its size. If you think that may be a problem, I've found ordering two or three usually solves it.

Hopefully Burger King will decide to make this gem a permanent part of its menu. Signs are that may be the case. They've recently come out with their Honey Butter Homestyle Melt. Can't wait to try it.

-Tristram DeRoma