Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Remember to chew very slowly


Bloggers note: This is a cheap imitation of the master Tom Veilleux, who daily captures the lives of ordinary residents who have recently passed and brings their memories to life in the New Haven Register. Tom does it through grace and tact, while I have chosen another route.

A LIFE REMEMBERED

McCready goes to that big Filet Mignon in the Sky

STRATFORD—For those who knew Brian McCready the best say he died doing the thing he loved most in life, chewing on a piece of meat.

The last seconds of McCready's all too short life were not pretty according to witnesses in the Register's Milford Bureau. He had just purchased a steak sub from The Chicken Basket, yes a steak sub, when he began to choke just like the Mets did at the end of the baseball season.

His colleagues, Jim Tinley, Vinnie Salzo, Tristram DeRoma, and Bridget Albert thought he was pulling another one of his pranks, and misread the choking for another form of a gag. Tragically, they were wrong, and that deliciously tender steak sub slathered in American cheese and served on a day old submarine sub did him in.

Even the subtle hints like his face turning different shades of purple, and the gurgling noises, combined with his hitting the floor did not set off alarm bells to his co-workers who were still busy polishing off a variety of chicken dinners as paramedics responded to his life-less body.

"It's sad that he's gone, but I know Brian would have wanted it to be this way," Salzo said, while adding McCready's favorite color was turquoise, and his favorite singers were Nick Lachey and Axl Rose. "I know he liked his meats, because he had a crappy blog about it, and he loved Milford, and never wanted to work in New Haven."

"In some ways you might say he won," Salzo added with a wink.

Friends and family say they had seen McCready make quick work of numerous steak subs sometimes two in a sitting, and they never had an inkling something so tragic was about to happen. McCready, 31, leaves behind a cat named Shane, 13, who apparently needs a new home. (See pcture above, or is that McCready?)

His hobbies beyond the meat thing consisted of watching "Dancing with the Stars,” "The Shield," the “Deal or No Deal” girls’, and anything with Gordon Ramsey and Kim Kardashian. The only movies he's seen in the past three years was “Transformers,” and “I am Legend,” with the latter being the best movie ever made.

"I'll miss Brian. Not because he was a nice guy or anything, but who is going to pick up the lunch anymore?" Albert said. "I don't want to put any miles on my new SUV."
Tinley toasted McCready by eating a Reuben in his honor. Then he quickly remarked "wow Phil's gone, and so is McCready. I've been here two months and I'm the new Bureau Chief. Not too shabby."

"I'm glad no one is here to make sure he wasn't poisoned," Tinley said with a giggle.

McCready’s favorite sports teams were anything coached by Isaiah Thomas.

“This is a great day for the city of Milford,” declared Milford Mayor James L. Richetelli Jr. “Oops I usually say that. I mean I guess I should say it’s a not so good day for the city of Milford. And boy do I feel like a good steak tonight. That’s for you Brian.”

In lieu of sending flowers or money please make a memorial donation to the Omaha Steak Company.